


Drawn to the Light

by erisediel (kaz2whi5)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, M/M, Prayer, Purgatory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-02
Updated: 2013-05-02
Packaged: 2017-12-10 04:18:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/781689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaz2whi5/pseuds/erisediel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel prays to Dean while in Purgatory</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drawn to the Light

**Author's Note:**

> somewhat inspired by assbutt-of--the-lord.tumblr.com/post/49370088894 (which was a response to seedysunflower.tumblr.com/post/47307569136) - meaning I listened to the song, cried, and wrote this.

Hello Dean.  
I’m aware that, as you are not an angel and we are out of the reach of heaven anyway, you will not hear me. However, I... feel the need to speak to you in this way. Dean, I apologize. If only I had not been as immersed in heaven’s problems, I would have seen the problems I was causing on earth for you and Sam. Please forgive me.  
Good night, Dean.

Hello Dean,  
I know you are still alive. I can feel your soul, just at the edges of my senses. I would know that soul anywhere, but it glows especially brightly in this darkness. I neglected to apologize for leaving you so abruptly when we first arrived. I believed, and still do, that it was best for you. The leviathan are drawn to me and I wished to keep you from that danger. I have put you in enough danger. Please try to forgive me.  
Good night, Dean

Hello Dean,  
I can feel you drawing closer. Please stop looking. Have you truly begun working with a vampire? I suppose he must make a more reliable companion than I did. I am sorry you had to resort to a being you would normally reject. I should not have left you when we first arrived. I realize now... If you had seen me die then, you could have left this place immediately, without these months of searching. I should have let you see me be taken by the leviathans then. I hope you can forgive me.  
Good night, Dean

Hello Dean,  
You are very close now. You will likely find me in the next week. I’m sorry, Dean, but when you find me, it will be the last time you see me. If you know now that I am gone, you can leave this place in peace, unimpeded by the leviathan that follow me. This is best for you, I am sure of it. I should have done this much earlier. Dean, this is the last time I will speak to you, and I have to say, I... Dean, I...  
Never mind.  
I wish I believed you could forgive me.  
Good night, Dean

I’m sorry Dean. I couldn't do it. When you found me today, I couldn't move. I should have stayed back, let the leviathan have me. But I couldn't. Your soul, you glow, and I've always been drawn to the light. And now I've put you in more danger, just by being here. But I can’t bring myself to care. I see you sleeping, and all I want is to watch over you forever. Knowing what I know now, I would have let Raphael rule heaven if it meant I could stay with you. But I can’t. I don’t deserve that. Not after all I did to heaven, to earth... to you. So when we find the portal, I’m not going. I’m staying here to serve my penance. Dean, please, live a good life. Find Sam. You need each other. Be happy. You deserve that.  
What I tried to say last time...  
Dean, I love you.  
Goodbye, Dean Winchester.

**Author's Note:**

> Any feedback would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!  
> tumblr: erisediel.tumblr.com/post/49416521796


End file.
